Why I Don’t Drink

12 am. 10 years old. Carnival cruise line to Mexico. New Years’ Party. What do all of these things have to do with anything? Why should you care? Why should you read all of this even though it has nothing to do with your life?

My question is: Why not.

Now you guys are thinking, how the heck do all of these things correlate? Well, this is why I do not drink. One day, on a cruise to Mexico, a wide eyed, 1o year old blonde girl with many hopes and dreams in people became shattered within this very moment. But she didn’t know why people were counting the seconds when they could drink. A toast to the new year. So, she watched. She watched as people downed cups and cups of champagne, cheering on each other to “chug” and “chug more”. She didn’t understand why women were encouraging a man to strip directly in front of her – and why people were acting crazy and walking funny. Dizzy. Head spinning. Laughing. Kissing in ways more suggestive than what a 10 year old was used to. Partying. The starry eyed girl didn’t understand what was so fun about being like this. and most importantly. Why.

I know what some of you may be thinking. SO WHAT, Amal? You’re almost 22 years old. Get over it and don’t drink like they did.

But yet.

It’s not this simple.

Because there are still more instances than this.

When I got to about 16 years old, I had the choice to make a good friend or many bad friends. I chose the bad friends. Not because I wanted to be bad like them. But because I thought with my help I could heal them. I was wrong. Totally and utterly wrong. I was also born with a heart defect, and I had major leakage within my heart, with my heart beating about 47 beats per minute. The typical average for someone my age would have been 60. I had began my freshman year of high school with a 3.4, and I ended my sophomore year with  1.6. These friends of mine, always drank to abuse the alcohol. They were constantly talking about how much they wanted to die, with one instance of one of them keying himself in the bathroom, bleeding in the shower and talking about it in school as if it were something funny. These friends not only hurt me; they made me lose someone who was actually worthwhile in my life. It also convinced me that alcohol was not a good thing; it was too easy to abuse.

Okay Amal. 2 instances. But that doesn’t mean that you have to exceed the limits or drink because you’re suicidal.

Yes. But yet there is more.

At 18 years old, I was still facing major depression from what I had seen since my sophomore year of high school. But I was healing, still. What happened next, in business algebra shocked me to my core. Most of the people in the course also drank, smoked, or did drugs at least. Mostly it was drinking that caused the most pain in my heart to hear about. One day, class is going extremely normally. We’re all just minding our business and doing our work. I was sitting in the back of my crush at the time. It was cool. Until a classmate came into the class nearly blackout drunk. She walked in, knocking everything over and hardly even able to stand. A few moments later, her friends came by her side, helping her up. A few more moments passed, and a correctional officer called out her name. I do not know what has happened to her since then, but I hope that she is better than how she was in this time period.

It isn’t yet the end.

The last instance I have to report is when I was 20 years old.

At 20 years old, I got to know people that you would never think would be these types of people whatsoever. As in, you wouldn’t suspect that they would drink, and a lot. So when they would tell me about their experiences, I would always be extremely surprised. Again, they seemed to abuse alcohol due to their depression. I remember an instance where it was just suicidal talk all the time. My heart would break over these individuals because of how caring and sweet they were. But I couldn’t help, no matter how much advice I happened to give. I just hoped and hoped they would eventually stop. They have not yet stopped until this day, but I believe it is lighter than it was before. When they drank, it was to rid of their sorrows; it was to attempt to forget that our world, the one we live in now, was not so bad. That if we kept drinking, our hearts will be pure again and happy once more. That wasn’t the case for anyone I ever knew who did drink. Nearly to all people I have met in my life drank for a poor purpose; not that I would blame them.

So there you have it; this is why I do not drink. I do not want anyone to read this and think that I saying you have poor character if you drink, or that I think you are a bad person or a particularly evil one. I just want you to believe that it is not a solution to your problems; and that, no matter if it’s just 1 person who reads this, or 100, this is just my experience throughout everything. A real solution to a problem would not cause more harm than good. And you shouldn’t have to feel like you need an excess of it, no matter what it was.  In the end, everyone has their own choices in their lives. I just believe that drinking is something we should have more education about. In the news, when we have commercials it often targets cigarettes,  and in extremely small letters, “Drink responsibility”. The way we advertise differs completely, although alcohol is extremely dangerous in many cases. This is not an ad campaign, nor is it something to convince you to put down your drinks. It’s just what I needed, personally, to tell the world about me for a therapeutic reason. Something that would make me feel better to share. Do as you please with the information I provided, and make a decision from there.

 

 

Sincerely,

Amal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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